If your OS was an airline!

Written by:dimport
Published by:dimport
Published on:2003-06-21 07:19:46

Ever wondered what kind of airline your OS would be? Wonder no more. Amusing article comparing our OS furstrations with that of the failing airlines.

DOS AirlinesEverybody pushes the aeroplane until itglides, then they all jump on and let the plane coast until it hits theground again. Then push again, jump on again and so on.
MAC AirlinesAll the stewards, stewardesses, captains,baggage handlers and ticket agents look the same, talk the same, and actthe same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told youdon't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done foryou without you having to know, so just shut up.
OS/2 AirlinesTo board the plane, you have your ticketstamped 10 different times, by standing in 10 different lines. Then youfill out a form showing where you want to sit, and whether it should lookand feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you finallysucceed in getting on board the plane, and if it succeeds in getting offthe ground, you have a wonderful trip . . . . except for the times whenthe rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you are assuredof plenty of time to say your prayers and get yourself fully prepared beforethe crash.
WINDOWS 3.1 AirlinesThe airport terminal is nice and colourful,with friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane and anuneventful takeoff . . . then the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever.
WINDOWS NT AirlinesWe are told that this is one of the safestplanes in the air, for as long as it stays there. No-one has actually everbeen able to determine how long this is. The plane flies well enough, butit is a bit tedious for passengers who have to rebuild the plane everytime they change video channels or the dinner menu.
UNIX AirlinesEveryone brings one piece of the aeroplanewith them when they come to the airport. Then they all go out onto therunway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly aboutwhat kind of a plane they are building.
WIN '9x AirlinesThe plane is remarkably similar to theones used by Win 3.1 Airlines and the terminal is even more colourful,except it takes the engines 5 times longer to start turning. Once in theair, the flight is smooth and quite fast, and then the plane blows up forno reason whatsoever - although you are offered one or more methods tostop this from happening, and one day one of them might actually work.

This article was originally written by khiZeus

This is an article from http://www.osix.net - view the original at: http://www.osix.net/modules/article/?id=360